


Charlie and the Scientist, tumblr edition

by notastranger



Series: The Adventures of Charlie and Scientist [6]
Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Bath Sex, Belly Kink, Belly Rubs, Dancing, Fluff, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, London, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Massage, Sickfic, Spooning, St. Patrick's Day, TriScience AU, handcuff shenanigans, how much cheese is too much cheese?, little green ghouls, milksteak, rats AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-03-14 17:03:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 14,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3418580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notastranger/pseuds/notastranger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles I have written on tumblr featuring Charlie and Scientist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Charlie and Scientist go on a date

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt request was for Charlie and Scientist being cute together on a date.

It wasn’t a fancy restaurant that Scientist had taken him to, but Charlie wore his nice corduroy blazer anyway. He was now regretting that decision as sweat poured down his back and underneath his armpits, soaking through his blue shirt, the one that Scientist said brought out his eyes.

“Are you all right?” Scientist asked worriedly, watching as Charlie downed his glass of water.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m just nervous, I guess.”

“About what?” Scientist set his menu down and reached across the table to take Charlie’s hand. “We’ve gone out to dinner before.”

“Yeah, but not as boyfriends.” Charlie’s hand was clammy and he felt bad that Scientist had to touch it. “I’m not good on dates.”

“Just because we’re now boyfriends—“ Scientist smiled at the word, even as he reassuringly squeezed Charlie’s hand, “—that doesn’t mean things have to be any different than usual.”

“I know that, but I’m pretty sure my body doesn’t,” Charlie lamented, wiping his brow with a cloth napkin. “The last time I did this, I really screwed up.”

Scientist’s eyes went soft. He rubbed the back of Charlie’s hand with his thumb. “Tell me what you need me to do to make you more comfortable.”

Charlie’s gaze dropped down to his menu. He still wasn’t that great with reading, and to make matters worse, many of the words were in French, but he did recognize one item, and suddenly he knew just what would make him feel better again.

~*~

Several minutes later, Charlie contentedly leaned against Scientist on the same side of the booth and watched the man spear a chunk of bread onto the tines of a long-handled fork and dip it into a fondue pot.

“Better?” Scientist asked quietly, scooping up the bite of melted cheesy goodness and popping it into Charlie’s mouth.

Charlie sighed, shutting his eyes and letting the flavors melt on his tongue. “Much. You’re the best, Doc.”

Scientist pressed a kiss to Charlie’s forehead. “So are you.”


	2. Charlie and Scientist are Lab Rats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for this prompt:
> 
> "Charlie" is a common sewer rat that somehow ends up in a lab, whose inhabitant is "Scientist", an intelligent yet condescending labrat. They don’t get along at first but by the time the lab team finds them in the morning, it’s all snuggles and sharing cheese.

The pungent smell of sewage first alerted the white labrat to the presence of an intruder, quickly followed by the sound of scuttling paws on the counter next to his cage. “Who’s there?” he squeaked, pressing his paws to the glass and wriggling his whiskers in annoyance.

“My name’s Charlie!” Someone called out cheerfully, another rat by the sound of it. “What’s yours?”

“The humans call me ‘Scientist’,” the labrat answered without thinking, before puffing out his fur. “Now see here! This is a private laboratory, you have no business running around and—“

“Hold up, dude,” Charlie interrupted, “I want to get that cheese over there.” The sewer rat climbed into the plexiglass maze and made his way to an enticing wedge of cheddar. When he reached the platform, a painful shock made him squeak and fall backwards.

Scientist squeaked in alarm. Those stupid humans had forgotten to turn off the testing apparatus! “Charlie! Are you okay?”

“Yeah, dude,” the rat said weakly, righting himself and going after the cheese again. “Ow!”

“Stop touching it, you nitwit!”

“I will, once I get the cheese,” Charlie said before getting shocked a third time.

Scientist scrambled over to his exercise wheel and climbed to the top. Carefully, he pushed at the cage’s lid until it popped open, then pulled himself out. He didn’t like leaving his cage, worried that the humans would find out somehow and punish him, but this fool rat was going to get himself killed if he didn’t intervene!

He found Charlie on his side, twitching unhappily, half his whiskers curled as if burned. “Just… just give me a sec,” he panted. “Gonna try one more time.”

“You most certainly will not,” Scientist said sternly. He wrinkled his nose against Charlie’s overpowering odor. “If you are so desperate for cheese, there is another wedge of it at the other end of the maze, and it isn’t rigged.”

Charlie looked up at Scientist pathetically. “But I want this cheese.”

“The other cheese is just as good,” Scientist snapped. He pushed Charlie to his feet with a gentle headbutt. “Come along and follow me.”

~*~

Scientist had already eaten his fill of cheese that day during his trials, so he simply sat back and watched the sewer rat ravenously devour the entire wedge. It gave him time to notice how emaciated Charlie was under all that matted, filthy fur. It made him feel bad – he didn’t particularly like living in a cage, but he had plenty of food and his fur was pristine. Life in the sewer did not seem like a pleasant alternative.

Charlie polished off the last bit of cheese and sighed happily. “Oh, man. That was the best meal I’ve had in forever. Thanks for sharing it with me, you’re awesome.”

“It was no trouble,” Scientist said quietly, tilting his head away so Charlie wouldn’t see how pleased he felt by the compliment.

“Guess I’ll be going now,” Charlie said as he started to climb out of the maze.

“Wait!” Scientist said hurriedly. Charlie paused and looked at him curiously. “Would it be all right if I groomed you a little before you left?”

The sewer rat looked surprised, then elated. “Sure, man!” He scurried over to Scientist and stretched out flat beneath him, letting the other rat comb through his fur with teeth and claws. It wasn’t long before his eyes were shut and his teeth grinding together in pleasure.

~*~

“Dana, check this out.”

The white-coated student crossed over to where her lab partner was standing and looked down at the maze. Their test subject, Scientist, was snuggled up with a wild brown rat. Both animals were fast asleep.

“Where did he come from?” Dana whispered, afraid to wake them up.

“The whole building has been having a rodent problem. He probably squeezed in through one of the cracks.” The young man sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “We can’t leave them like this, but…”

“They’re so cute,” Dana said, finishing his sentence.

They stared at the rats for a while. Finally, Dana murmured, “I know someone in the Animal Rights organization on campus. She could get these two to an animal sanctuary. Make it look like a break-in.”

Her partner frowned briefly before nodding. “All right, let’s do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the most favorite things I've ever written. Just FYI.


	3. Charlie and Scientist celebrate their fifth anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the prompt request of Charlie and Scientist celebrating their fifth anniversary.

“Happy Anniversary.” Scientist greeted Charlie at the door with a kiss, then ushered him towards the kitchen. “I have a surprise for you.”

“I thought we were celebrating on Saturday,” Charlie replied, confused. Maybe fifth anniversaries were special and required two celebrations? “Do you want your gift now, too?”

Scientist shook his head. “No, no, that’s all right. It’s nothing fancy, I just made you something   
special for dinner.”

Oh, that was okay, then. Scientist always cooked dinner if he got home first. “It smells awesome, dude.” Charlie washed his hands in the sink and then sat down at the tiny kitchen table expectantly.

“I hope so, it’s one of your favorites.” Scientist fussed over a serving dish on the counter before turning and placing it in front of the other man.

Charlie blinked. “Is that—“

“Milk steak, boiled over hard, with a side of jelly beans. Raw.”

Charlie exhaled in pure rapture. “Doc.”

“It took forever to find a decent recipe.” He nudged Charlie’s arm in a rare display of impatience. “Go on, try it!”

Charlie carefully cut a slice of steak and brought it to his mouth. He chewed slowly, wanting to savor the moment. “This is best milk steak I’ve ever had,” he said emphatically after swallowing, and quickly cut another piece.

Scientist smiled in pleasure and relief. “I was hoping it was up to par,” he admitted, sitting down as well.

“It’s delicious,” Charlie said. He gestured at Scientist with his fork. “Where’s yours? Aren’t you going to have some, too?”

Scientist wrinkled his nose. “No, thank you.”

“Aw, c’mon, after all your hard work? Here, I’ll cut you a piece.”

“No, thank you,” Scientist repeated, more firmly. “It will just be wasted on me.”

“No, it won’t! Aren’t you always telling me that I won’t know if I like something unless I try it?”

His boyfriend made a face, the one that reminded Charlie of an irritated frog, although he would never tell Scientist that because he probably wouldn’t appreciate it, even if Charlie thought it was adorable. “All right. Cut me a small piece.”

Charlie speared a choice cut from the middle of the steak, along with a jellybean for garnish, and popped into Scientist’s open mouth. “Good, right?”

Scientist chewed and swallowed, although Charlie suspected that if he weren’t British and classy, he would have spit it out halfway through. “It’s… ah. Interesting.”

Charlie grinned and scooted his chair next to Scientist’s so he could give the other man a face cuddle. “This is why I love you, Doc. No one else would bother to make me milk steak, let alone try a bite.”

Scientist flushed pink and smiled softly. “I wouldn’t do this for anyone else, darling.”

Charlie squeezed Scientist tight, practically pulling him into his lap. “You wanna take a bath with me?” He murmured suggestively, wanting to do something special for his husband. “You can wash my hair.”

Scientist did that cute thing with his mouth where he was trying not to smile like a giant dork. “Your milk steak will get cold,” he protested half-heartedly.

“Nah.” Charlie grinned. “It tastes even better after the sauce congeals.”

Scientist made another froggy face.


	4. Charlie and Scientist celebrate St. Patrick's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the following prompt:
> 
> Charlie/Scientist have to avoid Saint Patrick’s Day chaos!

The Gang waited until Charlie was in the men’s room before proposing their St. Patrick’s Day request to Scientist – Charlie was always fiercely protective of his boyfriend on the rare occasions he set foot in the bar.

“Absolutely not,” Scientist said before Dennis had even finished explaining their idea. “I am not making an appearance in a commercial for Paddy’s.”

“But you’re perfect for it,” Dee cajoled. “It’s your heritage.”

“It is not. I’m British, not Irish.”

“Is it really that big a difference?” Mac asked.

“Look here,” Scientist snapped. “Just because you’re Charlie’s friends doesn’t mean that I have to tolerate your shenanigans—“

“’Shenanigans!’” Dee echoed. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about, Doc. You’re a natural!” She broke into applause, Dennis and Mac following suit.

Scientist shut his eyes and sighed.

~*~

In the end, he agreed to participate, but only as a brief voice-over. His reward was getting Charlie all to himself on the actual holiday.

“I thought your father’s side of the family was Irish?” Charlie asked as they sat in a booth in the back of Paddy’s, as far away from the festivities as possible.

“Sshhh,” Scientist whispered, setting down his beer and stealing a furtive glance at the Gang. “It is, but _they_ don’t need to know that.”


	5. Tang-See gives Charlie some advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for this prompt:
> 
> "what about the other scientist that was in the episode I see him as like his really good friend or something"
> 
> This story takes place before Charlie and Scientist became boyfriends.

“Hey, man. Do you have a minute?”

Tang-See looked up from his research notes, mildly surprised to see Charlie Kelly standing at the entrance to his lab. The strange yet affable bearded man usually just hung out in his former supervisor’s office. “Sure, Charlie. What’s on your mind?”

Charlie came in and hopped up onto the empty lab bench next to Tang-See’s. “You know Doc pretty well, right?”

_Not as well as I thought I did_ , Tang-See mused, looking over “Doc’s” new roommate. “I was his research assistant for three years, and a student of his before then. Why do you ask?”

“I want to get him a thank-you gift for being my mentor. Something classy that he’d really like.” 

Tang-See must have given him a skeptical look, because he added hurriedly, “But manly, too, obviously, because he’s a man and not a girl I’m trying to impress. Just a dude giving another dude a present for being awesome, no need to read anything into it.”

Tang-See tried not to smile. “He likes ties. Not bow-ties,” he added as he tugged at his own self-consciously. “I’m sure he’d appreciate another one.”

~*~

A week later, Tang-See passed his former supervisor in the hall and exchanged pleasantries. “Nice tie,” he added, nodding his head politely.

“Thank you.” The older man smiled winsomely and patted the navy blue fabric tastefully decorated with a tiny embroidered rat. “Charlie got it for me.”

“That was very sweet of him.”

Scientist flushed and fidgeted with the knot. “Yes, well, it was a completely appropriate present for one roommate to give to one another and I have a meeting to attend elsewhere. Good day, Tang-See.”

Tang-See watched the other man nearly walk into a wall in his haste to leave. “White people,” he muttered under his breath before heading to the lab.


	6. Charlie gets a marriage license

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for this prompt:
> 
> Scientist finds out Charlie had once been married to Frank.

As soon as same-sex marriage became legal in Pennsylvania, Charlie knew what he had to do.

“Another musical?” Dennis asked when Charlie came trotting into Paddy’s with a binder full of notes and a spring to his step.

Charlie claimed he had been inspired to tell the story of a man who finds beauty in science and learning, but the lyrics seemed to be suspiciously about gay sex (consensual, thankfully) and how beautiful Scientist’s eyelashes were. Still, the Gang went with it – it was fun to sing and act on stage and Dee was especially excited to try out her British accent.

No one was surprised when Charlie had someone else play piano during the performance so he could come out at the end, dressed as Science Man, and ask for Scientist’s hand in marriage. Scientist, who had been watching the play in a mixture of embarrassment and squirm-inducing pleasure, blinked back tears and said yes.

The musical, it turned out, was the easy part.

~*~

“Mr. Kelly, your domestic partnership to Mr. Reynolds is still on file with the state of Pennsylvania. You need to have that annulled before you can apply for a marriage license.”

“But it was annulled, like, years ago.” Charlie frowned impatiently at the town clerk. “Can you check it again? My wedding is in a week, I need that license.”

The clerk sighed, but was sympathetic. “I’m sorry, but it’s what’s in the system. I’ll go pull the hard file for you.”

~*~

Scientist found Charlie sobbing on the couch with a stack of wedding RSVPs and an open bag of shredded cheese in front of him.

“Charlie, what happened?” Scientist rushed over worriedly, wrapping his arms around the other man.

“I’m still married to Frank!” Charlie wailed.

“Ah.” Scientist wasn’t sure what to make of that information. “Beg pardon?”

“Years a-ago, Frank and I filed for d-domestic partnership so I could get healthcare,” Charlie stuttered through his tears. “I didn’t tell you b-because we got it annulled, too, b-but the clerk at town hall said the paperwork for the annulment w-wasn’t completed!”

“There, there,” Scientist said softly, rubbing circles into Charlie’s back. “It’ll be okay.”

“No, it won’t!” Charlie insisted, hiding his face in Scientist’s shoulder. “Uncle Jack handled our annulment so I’d need to get the paperwork from him and I already threw up twice at the idea, b-but if I start all over w-we won’t get a license in time for our wedding!”

Scientist held Charlie tight and kissed the top of his head with an extra gentleness to counteract the intense burst of anger burning a hole right through his chest. “Dear boy. Sweet, darling boy, don’t worry, we’ll have our marriage license in time. I’ll handle everything.”

~*~

Jack Kelly’s office was not very impressive, and neither was the man himself. “Can I help you?” the older man asked, looking up from his computer, before smiling benignly. “Oh, you’re Charlie’s fiancé. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Would that I could say the same,” Scientist replied icily. He crossed over to Jack’s desk and stared at him in contempt. “You never completed the paperwork for Charlie and Frank’s annulment. I’m here to collect it.”

“Oh.” Jack swallowed nervously and glanced at his overflowing filing cabinet. “I’m sure I have it here somewhere. Maybe you could come back another day and—“

“No.” Scientist took a seat and leisurely crossed his legs. “I am going to sit here until you find it. And the longer I have to wait, the angrier I will become.” He smiled sharply. “And I am already quite angry, Mr. Kelly, so I suggest you start looking.”

Jack did not keep him waiting long.

~*~

“I appreciate you doing this on such short notice. If Charlie’s uncle had not fouled up the paperwork in the first place—“

Lawyer waved a hand dismissively as he finished notarizing the annulment papers. “It’s fine, took me all of five minutes.” He set aside his pen with a flourish. “There, all set. You can take these to town hall yourself, or I can send them via courier.”

“Please, if you can,” Scientist said earnestly. “I’m due back at the university. How much do I owe you?”

Lawyer shook his head and grinned. “After you came along and kept those weirdos from harassing me for every little stupid thing? Consider it a wedding present.”


	7. Charlie and Scientist go out for brunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written in response to two prompts: request for belly!kink as well as Charlie meeting Scientist's friends.

”Who meets for brunch at 9am,” Charlie complained one Sunday morning, curling into Scientist and trying to ignore the alarm clock as it blared NPR.

“My friends are only in town a short while,” Scientist replied, turning off the alarm. Charlie hooked his leg around Scientist’s, but the taller man squirmed out of his grasp. “And they’d like to meet you – oof – Charlie, come on. Up.”

Charlie grumbled something under his breath and got out of bed. Scientist felt a little guilty, but mostly he was just nervous and didn’t want the added anxiety of being late.

He was not ashamed of Charlie. He would sing the man’s praises if he could. But he knew how others perceived him. Charlie was sometimes too loud, or said strange things that didn’t make any sense until you got to know him. And he knew what people said behind his back at work, that a man of science had no business being with a janitor who tried to invent a phone so that spiders and cats could communicate with each other.

Those people, he did not bother with anything more than terse civility. But these were his mates from school, his closest friends. He wanted them to like Charlie. And he wanted Charlie to like them.

~*~

It turned out he had little to worry about. When Charlie wasn’t busy stuffing himself with French toast and bacon, he contributed nicely to the conversation and only made mention of a few odd things here and there. And thankfully the buffet did not have a cheese platter.

After Charlie excused himself for more food, his former roommate Mark looked at Scientist and grinned. “Bird Law, eh?”

“Don’t start,” Scientist muttered, but Mark only laughed and waved a hand.

“I’m just teasing, chap. It’s nice to see you happy for a change. I remember how things went with what’s-her-name.”

This set off a brief bitchfest among his other friends about What’s-Her-Name and Scientist remembered why he had been so anxious in the first place. “Thanks for dredging up all those fond memories, everyone.”

“Don’t look so stressed! It’s obvious Charlie adores you. The bloke’s got stars in his eyes.”

Scientist blinked and was about to ask for elaboration, but Charlie was back, and with an omelet, to boot. “Oh, man. That guy will put anything you want in an omelet. Anything! He’s going to call what I ordered the Dump-Truck Special from now on.”

~*~

Charlie complained about a sore stomach on the way home; by the time they were actually in their apartment, he was groaning unhappily. “I’m going to lie down.”

“Do you feel ill?” Scientist asked, following Charlie into the bedroom.

“No, just stuffed.” Charlie flopped onto the bed and undid the fly of his jeans with a hiss of relief. “Usually you cut me off after the third trip, but I guess you were really into seeing your friends.”

“I’m sorry,” Scientist said sincerely. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Charlie shut his eyes and sighed dramatically. “No.”

“Poor dear,” Scientist said with a soft laugh. “Let’s get you out of your jeans, hmm? So you can be more comfortable.” He tugged carefully at the waistband, Charlie shifting his hips so he could slide them off. “Would you like your shirt off, too?”

Charlie nodded, eyes still closed, and Scientist efficiently undid each button before pushing the fabric aside. In truth, Charlie’s stomach was only a little rounder than normal, but Scientist was sure that it felt better without the added pressure.

He placed a gentle, cool hand on the flub just below Charlie’s navel and rubbed affectionately. Charlie let out a moan that definitely did not sound pained. “That feels nice, Doc. Can you keep doing that?”

“Of course, darling.” Scientist sat on the edge of the bed and resumed rubbing Charlie’s stomach, palpating lightly with his fingertips and gently rubbing with the palm of his hand. He loved giving Charlie tummy rubs, even if the first time he was too embarrassed to admit he was doing it.

After a minute or so, Charlie yawned. “You’re making me sleepy.”

Scientist traced the whorl of hair below Charlie’s belly button. “Did you want to take a nap?”

“Yeah, but you should join me.”

The offer was impossible to resist; Scientist changed into a pair of sweats and curled up against his boyfriend, hand resting on Charlie’s warm, soft belly.

Brunch at 9am was over-rated, but lazy Sunday naps were not.


	8. Scientist says "I love you"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the following prompt:
> 
> The first time Scientist says “I love you.” How does Charlie react?

The first time Scientist says “I love you,” they are in the middle of some pretty great gay sex and Charlie isn’t in the right frame of mind to dwell on the significance of the words. Besides, people say all sorts of things in bed, it doesn’t have to mean anything.

The second time, they are sharing a laugh over something funny, and Scientist catches his breath and then says it so softly that Charlie is sure he must have misheard it.

The third time, Charlie happens to have Armitage in his lap and he wonders if Scientist is saying it to the rat instead. But then Scientist tilts Charlie’s chin so that their eyes meet and he knows that Scientist is saying “I love you” to him. And Charlie just smiles awkwardly and pats Scientist’s hand because he’s sure that if he opened his mouth, he’d only say something stupid.

He knows Scientist likes him. But the idea that Scientist loves him is kind of overwhelming. Charlie loves his mom, he loves Mac, he loves the Waitress and he loves cheese. The way he feels about Scientist, it’s like all of those kinds of love mashed together. Is that how Scientist feels about Charlie, too?

The fourth time, they are in bed and about to fall asleep, Scientist whispers “I love you” into Charlie’s ear and Charlie works up all his nerve and whispers it back.

Scientist hugs him, a full-body cuddle like he can’t contain how happy he is, and Charlie smiles because he realizes that Scientist means it. And so does he.


	9. Charlie and Scientist go dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short drabble inspired by the gif set of Charlie and Dee dancing from the episode "The Gang Dances Their Asses Off"

Charlie moves his arms like he’s trying to row a boat, getting into the groove of the music. Scientist is barely swaying in place. “C’mon, dude! We’re on a dance floor, you need to dance!”

"I don’t know what I’m doing," Scientist admits, barely audible over the pounding bass.

Charlie smiles easily. “Just move with me, you’ll be fine!” He turns around and places Scientist’s hands on his hips, backing up into him until there’s no space between them, his butt shimmying in time to the music.

Scientist moves with him — it’s either that or get knocked over. Charlie places his hands over the other man’s (which are holding onto him for dear life). “See, Doc? You’re doing great!”

The low-pitched whine he gets in response isn’t very reassuring, but Scientist isn’t letting go, so Charlie keeps dancing.


	10. Frank knows a guy who has a surplus of watermelon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was written in response to a prompt meme. The request was a hurt/comfort kiss. This is heavy on the comfort and light on the hurt, but take it from me, getting poked in the eye with an umbrella is no fun.

Charlie was not in the apartment when Scientist returned after his evening lecture, but he wasn’t concerned. His boyfriend had said something earlier that day about working at Paddy’s and getting home right before bedtime.

By midnight, however, Scientist started to fret. Charlie usually called if he was going to be late. He picked up his phone from the nightstand and gave the other man a call, but Charlie did not answer. He thought about calling Paddy’s but the possibility of speaking to an inebriated Mac or Dennis made him grimace. Instead, he put his phone back in its stand and tried to fall asleep.

Fifteen minutes later, the phone rang. It was Dee.

“Charlie got poked in the eye with an umbrella and won’t stop crying. You should come get him.”

“He what? How did that happen?”

“Well, Frank knows a guy who has a surplus of watermelon, and he said—“

“Never mind,” Scientist interrupted, already tugging off his pajamas and looking for a pair of pants. “I’ll be there momentarily.”

Scientist did not like driving in the city but he made an exception this time, getting to Paddy’s as quickly as he could. The bar was nearly empty, as usual. The splattered remains of watermelon littered the floor and Charlie’s friends were clustered around an end of the bar, arguing over who was going to clean up the mess. “Where’s Charlie?”

“The back office,” Dennis answered, gesturing to the hallway with his beer. “Unless he’s snuck into the air vents again.”

Scientist frowned and picked his way across the floor. “Haven’t you been checking on him? How serious is his eye injury?”

“He’s not blind,” Mac said. “And it can’t be too bad, he hasn’t been crying for a while now.”

Scientist paused, worry knotting into his gut. “‘A _while_?’ How long ago did he hurt himself?”

The varying degrees of guilt on Charlie’s friends’ faces told Scientist everything he needed to know. “I’d appreciate it if one of you would have the decency to _pick up the bloody phone_ and call me _immediately_ when something like this occurs.”

Mac crossed his arms defensively. “Hey! It was Charlie who didn’t—“

“Save it,” Scientist snapped. He marched down the hallway and tried the knob on the office door which was thankfully unlocked.

Charlie was sitting in the desk chair, elbows on the desk, a bag of ice held over half his face. He straightened up a little when Scientist entered, his good eye looking him over nervously. “Hi, Doc.”

Scientist let out a soft sigh. “Oh, Charlie.” He walked over to the smaller man and gently petted his clean but disheveled hair. “What happened, darling?”

“Frank knows a guy who had, like, a ton of watermelon, so—“

“No, I meant— you know what, why don’t you let me see it, hmm?” He lifted his hand and gently pried the ice out of Charlie’s numb fingers and tried not to wince at the bruise already red and swollen all around his eye. He was sure to have a shiner the next day. 

“Don’t be mad at the gang,” Charlie said as Scientist took a closer look at his eye. “I told them not to call you.” He looked away, embarrassed, and Scientist was relieved to see that the ring of broken blood vessels did not extend into the captivating green of the iris. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

“I’m always going to worry if you get hurt,” Scientist murmured, although he felt perfectly calm now. “Promise me you’ll call next time?”

Charlie responded by leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Scientist’s mouth. It caught the taller man off-guard and he smiled despite himself and the events of the evening. “How’s your vision? Can you see?”

Charlie shut his good eye and winced when he squinted the bad one. “Yeah. It’s not blurry or anything.”

“That’s good. I’ll take you to the doctor tomorrow but for now I think you just need more ice and some ibuprofen.” He tugged lightly on Charlie’s arm. “Let’s go home.”

“Sure, Doc.” Charlie smiled affectionately. “Do you want to take some watermelon home with us?”

“No, thank you.”


	11. Charlie Goes to Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was written in response to a prompt meme. The meme was "sleepy touches" and I enjoyed writing this very much.

By the time Charlie got home from watching Sharknado and Sharknado 2 at Mac’s house, Scientist was already asleep, tucked in and wearing his pajamas like something out of a picture book. Charlie smiled at the sight before getting ready for bed, then slipped under the covers and curled up around his boyfriend, excited to be the big spoon for a change.

He was as quiet as he could be, but Scientist stirred slightly anyway. “How was the movie?” he mumbled sleepily.

“Awesome,” Charlie whispered into the back of Scientist’s neck. “This one chick got her hand bitten off by a shark, so she attached a circular saw to it and killed a bunch of other sharks.”

“Mmm,” Scientist replied with just a hint of distaste. “Quality entertainment.”

Charlie didn’t take offense, even though his boyfriend wasn’t in any position to judge: hidden behind all of Scientist’s foreign film DVDs was a substantial collection of classic Doctor Who. 

He lightly brushed his fingers, cold from the faucet water, under Scientist’s shirt as mild payback, making the taller man squirm.

“Charlie, I was sleeping,” Scientist whined, curling into himself. 

Charlie laughed quietly. “Sorry,” He whispered as he lined up against Scientist, belly pressed against his back. Scientist was always nice and warm, like bread straight out of the oven. He wrapped an arm around Scientist’s middle and squeezed gently, hopefully not enough for the other man to complain.

A few minutes passed; He thought his bedmate had dozed off, and was close to sleep as well, when Scientist spoke again. “We should go to the aquarium in Camden. They have a shark tank.”

“They do? Can you feed them chunks of meat?”

"Probably not.” Scientist yawned and placed his hand on Charlie’s, rubbing some warmth into the fingers. 

“It still sounds cool.” Charlie smiled and cuddled closer. “‘Night, Doc.”

“Goodnight, Charlie.”


	12. Charlie and Scientist Make Out on the Couch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was written in response to a prompt meme. The prompt was "desperate touches" although it turned into more of a "desperate shag".

It started out innocently enough: just a typical full-body cuddle on the couch with Scientist. Charlie loved fully-body cuddles, especially on the couch because it felt like he was being cuddled from all sides, sandwiched as he was between Scientist and the couch cushions. Scientist was always extra clingy on the couch, too; he kept a leg wedged between Charlie’s and a steady grip on the back of Charlie’s t-shirt so he wouldn’t fall off. It made Charlie feel very safe and secure.

 Scientist was tired from a long night of grading papers and Charlie wasn’t inclined to move, either, but they usually went into the bedroom when cuddles were going to lead to gay sex, so Charlie was a little startled when he felt Scientist’s erection pushing into his hip. He made a soft sound of surprise and Scientist broke off their kiss, face flushed pink. “Sorry. Should I move?”

“Nah, dude, it’s cool.” Scientist apologizing for his boner always made Charlie smile. He squeezed the other man’s backside reassuringly and Scientist moaned appreciatively. Charlie’s smile turned into a grin. “We can stay here.”

“Oh, but…” Scientist trailed off, looking back over his shoulder at the edge of the couch with a worried expression. 

Charlie just pulled him closer, shifting so that Scientist was lying flat on his back with Charlie partly draped over him. “Don’t worry, Doc. I got you.”

Scientist made a small sound of approval and shut his eyes. Charlie gently brushed his thumb over Scientist’s dark lashes before sliding a hand down his side and then onto his crotch. The man gasped and squirmed beneath him. “Oh— Oh, Charlie, you don’t have to—“

Charlie shushed him with a kiss. “You just lie back and relax, Charlie’s gonna take care of you,” he murmured in what he thought of as his sultry voice. The truth was, as gay as he was for Scientist, he wasn’t quite gay enough to give him a handjob. Not yet, anyway. But rubbing him through his pants, that he could do. He gripped Scientist’s cock as tightly as he could through the material and slid his hand up and down his length, making up in enthusiasm what he lacked in finesse.

Scientist’s gasps and pleas for Charlie to continue were encouraging, but after a minute or two, Charlie began to worry that it wouldn’t be enough. “Do you want me to get you some lube?” he asked, letting his hand fall still. 

“What?” Scientist blinked at him, dazed, and rapidly shook his head. “No, it’s fine.”

“You sure? You usually use lube when you jack off.”

“I’m sure,” Scientist panted. “Charlie, please—“

“I can grab it real quick,” Charlie said, starting to get up. “Just squirt some down your pants so you can—“

“Charlie!” Scientist grabbed at his shirt. “Charlie, please,” he said more quietly, a desperate, plaintive note in his voice. “What you’re doing is fine. Please don’t stop.”

Charlie placed his hand on Scientist’s crotch and went back to what he had been doing, but Scientist still sounded like he was begging, just with tiny little whimpers instead of words. It made Charlie doubt that his through-the-cloth-handjob (he was pretty sure there was a word for this, something French-sounding, but he couldn’t remember) wasn’t effective enough, but then Scientist made his O-face and bucked up against Charlie’s hand until he had finished climaxing.

Charlie kissed Scientist’s forehead and felt very proud of himself.

 


	13. Scientist Makes a New Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my contribution to the TriScience AU! TriScience AU is Newmann AU in which Scientist and Owen Harper are also at the Shatterdome for some reason and vying for Newt’s affections. This fic takes place at a point in which Scientist gives up on pursuing Newton... and finds himself nearly running into a friendly, scruffy janitor that also works at the Shatterdome (because I can't help myself, apparently). Enjoy!

Newton’s third date with Scientist was at the fancy ice cream cafe just a few blocks from the Shatterdome. Newton’s sundae was delicious, but he couldn’t shake the unpleasant feeling in his gut that had nothing to do with over-indulging.

“Is something wrong?” Scientist asked. “You’ve been very quiet tonight.”

Newt looked up into Scientist’s worried brown eyes, and all he could think about was Hermann back at the lab. He sighed. “Look… dude, I’m sorry, I hate to do this to you, but I don’t think we should date anymore.”

Scientist’s expression fell in dismay. “Was it something I said? Did I talk about my pet rat too much?”

“No, no, not at all.” Newt resisted the urge to pat Scientist’s hand. “I know it’s cliche to say that it’s not you, it’s me, but it’s really not you. You’re a great guy — really nice, handsome, smart… well, that latest experimental paradigm you told me about is kind of flawed, but…”

Scientist looked even more depressed and Newt winced. “Jesus, sorry, that came out all wrong. I’m normally the one getting dumped, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

He was relieved to see Scientist perk up a bit at that admission. “Not used to breaking hearts?” he asked, smiling wryly despite his sad eyes.

“Ha — ah, _no_. Far from it.” He fidgeted with the empty sundae dish in front of him. “The problem is that I have feelings for someone else.”

Scientist frowned deeply, suddenly resembling Hermann more than he ever had before. “It’s not that awful Dr. Harper, is it? He’s no good for you, Newt, he’ll—“

Newt waved a hand dismissively and tried not to blush. “No, it’s not him. It’s Hermann.”

“Oh.” Scientist’s gaze dropped to the table, but he seemed more thoughtful than upset. 

“I just think it’d be shitty of me to string you along while I’m ass-over-teakettle for my lab partner.” Newt laughed bitterly. “Not that it’d ever work out in a million years, the man hates my guts.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that,” Scientist interjected softly. “That first time I dropped by your lab, I assumed you and Doctor Gottlieb were a couple.”

“Really?” Newt squeaked, before clearing his throat. “I mean, um, don’t answer that, that’s not fair to you.” He stood up, awkwardly scooting around the table and giving Scientist a shoulder pat. “I meant what I said about you being a great guy. You’ll meet someone soon.” 

“Thank you, Newt,” Scientist sighed, and Newt wanted to kick himself. This guy was like a sweet, well-dressed Hermann and he even called him Newt! Why was he giving all of this up for that old-fashioned frog face back at the lab?

Oh well. The heart wants what the heart wants. Newt gave Scientist’s shoulder a squeeze before leaving the cafe.

~*~

Scientist trudged back to his quarters, lips pressed tightly together so he wouldn’t cry. Newt dumped him about as nicely as anyone could, but it still hurt — especially since he knew he’d have to take the high road from now on and stop interfering with Newt’s love life.

“Hey, Doc!” A voice called out cheerfully. Scientist looked up and nearly walked into one of the janitors.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you, Charlie.”

Charlie shrugged, as if used to that, then frowned in concern. “Hey, you okay, dude? Your eyes are all sad and shimmery.”

Scientist wiped at his eyes hurriedly. “Just… ah, some allergies. Please, don’t concern yourself.”

“Okay.” Charlie twisted the mop handle in his hands. “Um, sorry about almost ruining your experiment the other day. I’m not used to seeing rats, like, do science stuff and actually not need to be bashed.”

“It’s fine,” Scientist sighed. He took a moment to really look at Charlie and felt his heart melt a little at the man’s apologetic expression. “Just ask me next time before you start bashing anything, all right?”

“Sure thing, Doc.” Charlie grinned. “Hey, uh, I’ve always been interested in science stuff, you think I could drop by your lab sometime and talk to you about it?”

Scientist smiled. “You know, I think that’s a wonderful idea. Please do come by at your convenience.”

“Great!” Charlie beamed, then got back to cleaning the floor. “‘Night, Doc.”

“Goodnight, Charlie.”

 


	14. Charlie and Scientist Listen to Mr. Prickles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was written in response to a three-sentence AU prompt meme.

When reports of houseplants turning sentient first started appearing on the news, Scientist was highly skeptical — the very idea that a plant could have the intelligence of a young child went against everything he knew about biology — and aside from Mac buying a dozen spider plants in some half-baked plan to create a jacked-up security force (“Spider plants are impossible to kill, dude, it’s a fact”), the Gang didn’t think much of the possibility, either.

But then Scientist woke up one morning, determined to do something about Armitage’s squeaky running wheel, only quickly discovering that it wasn’t the wheel squeaking, but the cactus — the one Charlie had given him on Valentine’s Day, the one he had named Mr. Prickles — chirruping like a small bird and wiggling its spines in a jovial manner.

Charlie entered the living room and Scientist looked at him, eyes wide, still in a state of shock, but Charlie took it all in stride, listening a moment to the cactus’s squeaky chatter before grabbing Scientist’s hands and saying proudly, “Dude! We’re going to be this cactus’s dads!”

 


	15. Charlie and Scientist Celebrate Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie invites Scientist to Paddy's annual Halloween costume party.

Charlie and Scientist were cuddling on the couch, as usual; Scientist was talking about some logistical issue at work and it was kind of boring so Charlie had zoned out, concentrating instead on how good the other man’s fingers felt running through his hair. But then the hair petting stopped and Scientist was looking at him expectantly. “Charlie, did you hear me?”

“Um…” Charlie thought about lying, but Scientist always looked disappointed when he did, so he smiled sheepishly instead. “No, sorry.”

Scientist didn’t seem to mind. “I said that Halloween is coming up soon, did you want to do something?”

“Oh!” Charlie sat up. “Sure, man. Halloween’s fun. Paddy’s is having a Halloween party, but we’d have to wear costumes.”

“That’s fine.” Charlie must have looked surprised because Scientist laughed. “I used to dress up for conventions all the time. I enjoy it.”

Charlie had no idea what conventions Scientist was talking about, but that was a conversation for another time — Scientist was going to celebrate Halloween with him, awesome! But then his shoulders dropped as he remembered something. “No, wait, that’s not gonna work. It’s a bad idea for us to wear costumes.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

Charlie sighed, not looking forward to explaining himself. “This one Halloween party, I dressed up as the Phantom of the Opera, and wow, it was like — just women throwing themselves at me because I was so sexy and masculine. I’m worried that if I dress up, the same thing will happen and you’ll get jealous, and I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

The corner of Scientist’s mouth twitched like he was holding back a smile. “That’s very considerate of you, darling. But I wouldn’t let something like that ruin our evening.”

Charlie just shook his head. He didn’t want to spend Halloween fending off unwanted advances, especially not with Scientist right there. There had to be a way to let everyone at the party know that they were —

“Wait, that’s it!” Charlie yelled, startling Scientist. “Dude, we should wear matching costumes! You know, like couples do. That way people won’t bother me, because they’ll know that I’m with you.”

Scientist stared at Charlie a moment before smiling widely and scooping him into a delighted squeeze. “I think that’s a brilliant idea.”

Charlie’s chest nearly  burst with pride. 

~*~

Later, at the costume party, Charlie was still patting himself on the back for such a wonderful idea. He and Scientist had been at Paddy’s for hours and not a single woman had thrown herself at him. It probably helped that Scientist was practically sitting in his lap, but Scientist always got extra cuddly when tipsy. Charlie certainly wasn’t complaining.

“I still can’t believe you already had that costume in your closet,” Charlie teased his boyfriend, who was dressed as the Fifth Doctor. “Nerd.”

Scientist, already a bit flushed from his beer, turned a deeper shade of pink. “It took me years to find the pieces for this costume. I am never getting rid of it.”

“I don’t care,” Charlie grinned, giving Scientist’s waist a squeeze. “You look cute.” 

Scientist leaned in to reward his flirting with a face cuddle, but was interrupted by a furious Dennis storming past their table and nearly knocking it over, Mac following behind.

Their costumes did not match.

“Chill out, bro!” Mac caught up to Dennis and laid a metallic hand on his friend’s shoulder. “The costume went on sale, I couldn’t pass up a sweet deal to dress as the Winter Soldier.”

Dennis spun on his heel, knocking away Mac’s hand and glaring at him over his sunglasses. “We agreed to dress as the Blues Brothers, asshole! The costume doesn’t make sense otherwise, I just look like a jerk in an outdated suit!” Mac started to offer an apology, but Dennis  threw up his hands in rage. “I can’t believe you did this to me again!” he shouted before walking away.

Mac sighed and sunk into a chair opposite Charlie. “I would have asked him to be Captain America but I can’t think of a worse choice for that, and I’m including Frank and Dee.”

“Don’t mess with the couples costume, man. You were asking for it. Although that is a pretty sweet costume.”

“Thanks.” Mac frowned at Charlie’s fancy black clothes. “Who are you supposed to be?”

“I’m the Master!” Charlie put hands up into mock claws and growled at Scientist. “Look out, Doctor Who! I’m going to eat you!”

Scientist, who had been rather frosty since Mac had joined their table, burst into uninhibited laughter and swatted playfully at Charlie’s hands. “He doesn’t try to eat the Doctor, you cheeky thing.”

“Are you sure? Maybe he tries to tickle him.” Charlie’s hands, conveniently still claw-shaped, homed in on Scientist’s middle, which set the man off onto a fresh peel of laughter.

“Do you two really have to do that in front of me,” Mac hissed in disapproval before standing up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom and fix my mascara.”


	16. Charlie Proposes to Scientist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie asks Scientist to marry him the only way he knows how.

Scientist didn’t know what to expect when he sat down in the front row of the community theater, waiting for the lights to dim and Charlie’s play to start. It seemed to be a thing, Charlie and his friends putting on little shows, and Scientist certainly wasn’t going to begrudge him that, especially when Charlie had a real talent for playing the piano. But Charlie had been busy with rehearsals all week and wouldn’t even tell him what the play was about, just that it was really important that he be there. It had piqued Scientist’s curiosity and he was eager to see what had occupied so much of Charlie’s time and energy.

His eagerness turned to confusion as Frank came out dressed as a white rat, serving as narrator for a young man’s journey from ignorant plebe to a lover of science and knowledge. Scientist soon realized with a kind of detached horror that the story unfolding before him was based heavily, if not entirely, on his and Charlie’s relationship, from friends to roommates to lovers, and oh god, Charlie really did not spare any detail.

The music was good — catchy even; “My Mentor” was sure to be a real earworm. But so many of the lyrics were thinly veiled references to anal sex, Scientist felt like he was going to burst into flames, he was blushing so hard. Was this intentional? Scientist couldn’t tell, but he wasn’t sure how else to interpret the well-dressed professor character asking the protagonist to enter his “warm and inviting hall of knowledge” any other way. And having it sung by Dee in an atrocious accent — an unholy mix of Shakespearean theatre and Mary Poppins — that certainly didn’t help.

He thought Charlie was playing the piano off-stage, so naturally he was surprised when the bearded man was lowered from the rafters by rope-and-pulley onto the stage, wearing a a top hat and a labcoat fashioned into a tuxedo. He sang a solo about never knowing the value of science until meeting the one man who had the patience to teach him, and despite still wanting to disappear from embarrassment, Scientist couldn’t help but smile.

The smile vanished when Charlie walked up to the edge of the stage, kneeling in front of Scientist and extending a hand.

“Same-sex marriage now is legal,

Our wedding would be more than regal.

Say you’ll marry me today,

For you I always will be gay.

You have my heart, my love is true,

so come up here and say ‘I do!’”

Charlie looked at him expectantly, his smile bright and beckoning, and all Scientist could do was stare. He licked his too-dry lips and found enough of his voice to ask, “Is— is this part of the play, or is this real?”

“It’s real,” Charlie whispered. “I mean, it’s part of the play, too, but I really am asking you to marry me, Doc.” He reached a little farther with his arm, shaking almost imperceptibly with nerves, and sang:

“You’re the only man for me.

Darling, will you marry me?”

Scientist pressed a hand to his quivering mouth, desperately willing away the tears rapidly filling his eyes. Grown men didn’t cry, _dammit_ , but he couldn’t seem to stop them, overwhelmed by emotion. “Yes,” he managed to croak, before getting out of his seat and taking Charlie’s hand. But rather than let his boyfr— no, _fiancé_ , pull him onto the stage, he slumped against the elevated barrier and hid himself in Charlie’s awkward embrace. Charlie maneuvered himself into a sitting position, legs dangling, and Scientist quickly buried his face in Charlie’s stomach.

There was applause, cheers, relieved chatter from the Gang; Scientist tuned everything out except for the comforting feeling of Charlie’s fingers running delicate lines through his hair. 

“Show’s over!” Charlie shouted. 

“Are you sure?” Dennis asked. “You have another five minutes of—“

“He said ‘yes’, the show’s over,” Charlie re-iterated. “Everybody go home!” he yelled at the audience, for emphasis.

It took a few minutes for everyone to leave, but finally Scientist could hear nothing but the quiet hum of the stage lights and the steady sound of Charlie’s breathing. The smaller man gave the back of his neck a gentle scratch. “Hey, Doc. You can look up now, it’s just us.”

Scientist straightened slowly, sniffing and wiping at his eyes, but any tears he might have shed had already dried. No longer embarrassed, he just smiled shyly at Charlie who was looking at him in concern. “Sorry. That was just— a bit overwhelming.”

“If I’d known it was going to be too much I would have just written one song.”

“You can save that for the wedding.” Scientist looked up into Charlie’s eyes, not missing his sudden, relieved smile. “I love you,” he added tenderly.

Charlie’s eyes went half-lidded, as if entering a trance. He leaned down and met Scientist in a long, slow, breath-stealing kiss, disengaging only long enough to pant, “I want to go home and bang my fiancé” into Scientist’s open mouth.

Scientist stepped back so Charlie could hop off stage before drawing him into a hug. “Whatever you say, Science Man.”


	17. Charlie and Scientist go star-gazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what it says ~~on the tin~~ in the chapter title.

Star-gazing had been Charlie’s idea — it seemed like a cool thing to do now that he knew so much more about space. And romantic, too, cuddled up under a blanket and sharing a reclining patio chaise that Charlie had found in a dumpster (he didn’t tell Scientist that part) on the roof of their apartment building, nothing blocking their view of the sky.

He made himself comfortable against Scientist who was unusually stiff and un-cuddly. “Doc, relax. You went over the lease, like, three times, it’s totally fine for us to be up here.”

Scientist frowned worriedly. “The landlord was such a git about me adding you to the lease. I don’t want any more problems.” 

“It’s fine,” Charlie insisted. He pointed up to the sky. “Now, come on, you told me you were going show me some dude’s belt and two bears.”

“Orion,” Scientist clarified. “It’s been years since I learned my constellations, but I’ll try.”

Scientist freed a hand from the blankets and pointed out various stars, tracing the lines that made up different shapes. Charlie wondered what kind of plants the ancient Greeks had been smoking, because he couldn’t see _shit_ , except the Big Dipper (which didn’t look anything like a bear, what the fuck).

But Scientist had finally relaxed, turned slightly so his legs tangled up with Charlie’s, his free hand drawing mini-constellations in Charlie’s hair. It felt so nice; Charlie pulled up the blanket a little and yawned.

“And that one might be Gemini, but I’m not sure… Charlie, are you falling asleep?”

Charlie peered up at Scientist sheepishly, but the other man was looking at him with soft eyes, the corners of his mouth turned up as if he didn’t realize he was smiling. “A little, yeah. You’re warm.”

“So are you,” Scientist said fondly.

Charlie nuzzled Scientist’s cheek which was always soft and smooth and smelled like fancy skin lotion. Scientist turned his head for a proper face cuddle, and for a while both men forgot about the stars completely.

 


	18. Husband Daycare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had a prompt request for Charlie visiting Scientist's family in London. I have a future fic planned that's going to cover that in more detail, so instead I wrote a drabble of Charlie's first visit to London, and Scientist needing to get a little work done...
> 
> (They are engaged at the time this fic is set, but when I was in Edinburgh last year, I saw a chalkboard sign outside a pub advertising "Husband Daycare", hence the title of this drabble. :)

“Go on, Charlie.” Scientist gave the other man a gentle nudge through the door. “I’ll only be gone a short time.”

Charlie looked around the quiet pub in trepidation. “I dunno, man. What if they don’t have a kind of beer that I like?”

Scientist sighed to himself. The pub was admittedly a bit rundown, but it was the closest one to his colleague’s office, and the best way to keep Charlie occupied while they got some work done. “Just order a pilsner. I’m sure they have one on tap.” He put some money into Charlie’s shirt pocket. “You can even order yourself some chips if you’re feeling peckish.”

Charlie made an anxious sound in the back of his throat and didn’t let go. “I don’t want the bartender to think I’m a dumb tourist and make fun of my accent.”

“He’s not going to make fun of your accent, darling.” Scientist pointed to the far wall. “Look, they have a dart board. You like playing darts.”

“I don’t wanna play darts,” Charlie whined, clutching Scientist’s hand like his life depended on it. “I wanna go with you and do science stuff.”

“Charlie,” Scientist said kindly, but firmly. “I already explained to you why I can’t take you with me.” He carefully extricated his hand from Charlie’s tense grip. “Go ahead and sit at the bar and try to have a good time. I’ll be back soon.”

He gave Charlie a comforting kiss on the cheek, then turned and left before his heart could be swayed by the sad puppy-eyed look Charlie gave him in return.

~*~

When Scientist returned exactly fifty-five minutes later, he was relieved to see Charlie smiling and laughing at the bar with a few other patrons. “Hey, Doc!” he called out, waving Scientist over. “Guys, this is my fiance.”

“The science wanker?” A slick-haired man at the end of the bar said skeptically.

“Oi!” The woman next to him said rather crossly, before giving Scientist an apologetic smile. “You’ll have to excuse Mike, he’s a bit of a chav.”

Mike scowled. “Shut up, Daisy.”

“It’s true, mate,” said a man who was currently checking his out his reflection in the back of a spoon. “You’re a total chav. You can’t even do a backflip.”

Charlie chuckled. “Oh man, you British people have such awesome senses of humor.” He tugged on Scientist’s sleeve excitedly. “Daisy and Daniel’s dad owns this place. Isn’t that cool? I was telling them about how they can burn trash if they want the bar to be more eco-friendly.”

Scientist smiled thinly. “That’s nice, Charlie. But we really should be going now.”

“Can’t I stay for another beer?” Charlie asked hopefully.

“No,” Scientist said quickly, a vague sense of unease making him eager to leave. “We have to meet my sister for dinner, remember?”

“Oh, yeah! Okay.” Charlie hopped off his barstool and waved goodbye to his new friends before following Scientist out the door. “Those guys were really nice! We should go back there again while we’re in town.”

“We’ll see,” Scientist murmured noncommittally while silently vowing not to let Charlie out of his sight again for the rest of their time in London.


	19. Charlie and Scientist take a bath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked for a drabble of Charlie and Scientist sharing a bath. The smut was optional but I went for it. :)

It turned out that baths were a lot more fun if Charlie had company.

Charlie usually got into the bath first — tonight was no exception. Scientist rolled up his sleeves and squirted some shampoo into his palm while Charlie ran his wet hands through his hair until it was dripping. Then he leaned back, resting the back of his neck against the lip of the tub, and let Scientist work his magic. Even if he had been having a bad day, the feeling of Scientist’s fingers in his hair always put him into a warm, fuzzy state. 

Scientist nudged him forward and rinsed off the suds, then stood up to undress. Charlie was always impressed with the way Scientist stepped into the bath and slid under the bubbles without sloshing water everywhere. “Want me to wash your hair?” Charlie asked as Scientist made himself comfortable between Charlie’s legs.

“Sure,” Scientist replied with a charmed smile. 

Charlie got some shampoo and worked his boyfriend’s hair into a lather. He tried to be thorough, but after a while he couldn’t resist working Scientist’s hair into various shapes, giggling at some of the more outlandish styles. “Ever thought of making your hair all gelled up and spiky?”

Scientist gave him a skeptical look out of the corner of his eye. “No.”

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed, squashing his soapy hair flat. “Not classy enough for you.”

“Are you done? I want to rinse off and have a proper cuddle.”

Charlie laughed. “Yeah, man. Go ahead.”

Scientist carefully rinsed the suds out of his hair, then turned so he could face Charlie and still be in his arms. It was a little awkward — the tub was too narrow for them to slot together — but they made it work, Scientist finding a way to rest his head on Charlie’s shoulder.

Charlie sighed contently and ran his hand along the smooth skin of his boyfriend’s back, all the way down to the cleft of his ass. “This is way more fun than looking for treasure in the sewer with Frank.”

Scientist groaned, but not in a good way. “Please don’t mention your father when we’re naked together.”

“Sorry.” Charlie planted a row of kisses along Scientist’s hairline. His hand gently massaged Scientist’s bottom. “How can I make it up to you?”

“Well—“ Scientist started to say, before Charlie dipped his fingers into Scientist’s crack. The man whined in approval. “Oh… Charlie, I appreciate the sentiment, but… that is, I can’t—“

“No banging you in the bath?” 

“Soap makes a poor lubricant,” Scientist explained with a touch of regret. 

Charlie kissed him. “It’s okay, Doc.” He let his hand slide back to the meat of Scientist’s ass, squeezing him affectionately.

“Maybe after the bath? You’ve put me in the mood.”

Charlie slid his other hand down Scientist’s chest and ran smack into his erection. “No kidding.” And then, as much to his own surprise as to Scientist’s, he wrapped his hand around Scientist’s cock and gave it a firm stroke. 

Scientist made a sound like he had found Jesus, and that was honestly all the encouragement that Charlie needed. “Do— do you want—“ he stuttered, his hand sliding down to the base of Charlie’s erection questioningly.

“Yeah, go for it, dude,” Charlie said encouragingly. “We can have a race.”

Scientist snorted out a laugh into Charlie’s shoulder. “That’s hardly fair, you’ve had a head start.”

“Better catch up then,” Charlie replied smugly before Scientist attempted to do just that, making it feel like fireworks were exploding just underneath his skin.

Yep, definitely better than searching for treasure in the sewer.


	20. Old Habits Die Hard.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is in response to a prompt requesting more of the sentient plant AU. Scientist decides to study Mr. Prickles and gets a little too ambitious in the process. Fortunately, Charlie is there to remind him of what's really important.

Once Scientist got over the initial shock of having a sentient plant, he did what any good researcher would do: observe and take notes. 

Mr. Prickles communicated mostly by squeaking, although it could also generate noise by rustling its spines. It reacted to light, music, and the presence of himself or Charlie (although it ignored Armitage). It chattered the most when spoken to, as if engaged in conversation. Scientist paid careful attention, creating a symbol for each sound, hoping he could make sense of the cactus’s strange, alien language.

Charlie, of course, did not bother to follow any sort of scientific rigor. He spoke to Mr. Prickles as if it were a pet, or a small child. Scientist, however, was careful not to form any assumptions of intelligence. Sentient plants were still so rare and understudied that Scientist did not want to act on any pre-conceived notions.

As he made progress with his research, he turned his thoughts optimistically towards the future. It was quite possible he could publish a paper from his findings. Maybe he would even be awarded a grant for future study! He could set up a lab devoted to sentient plants and be given other subjects as they were discovered. Surely he’d receive tenure, then, not to mention a lecture tour and a book deal…

He was scribbling notes into a paper journal, daydreaming of potential accolades, when Charlie sat down next to him on the couch and said, “You need to stop being so obsessed, Doc. I know a talking plant is really cool, but you’re getting weird about it.”

Scientist did not bother looking up as he continued writing. “I’m not obsessed, I’m merely trying to understand how the subject —“

“His name is Mr. Prickles.”

Scientist sighed and waved a hand dismissively. “This is important research, Charlie. You wouldn’t understand.”

Charlie unceremoniously ripped the notebook out of his hands and threw it on the ground. Scientist looked up, more startled than upset, and blanched at the tears in Charlie’s eyes, a look of hurt so pure that Scientist wished he could take back his words and swallow them into non-existence.

“Oh, I understand,” Charlie said lowly. “I understand that this whole world’s gone freaking nuts over plants that can talk, but it’s like anything else, what starts out as a really cool idea becomes just another get rich quick scheme.”

Scientist blinked. “Charlie, I’m not trying to —“

“You’re supposed to be better than that, Doc! It’s like — like Dennis is always asking me about Mr. Prickles, if I can bring him to Paddy’s so he can charge people to talk to him, he’s like a devil on my shoulder, like in the cartoons? With horns and a tail and probably a big red codpiece — anyway, he’s sitting there on one shoulder, whispering in my ear, and then, you!” He pointed at Scientist. “You’re supposed to be the angel, dude! You’re supposed to sit on my other shoulder and wear a halo and wings and tell me that Mr. Prickles is part of our family, if he can talk then that means he has feelings and deserves to be happy and not dissected in a lab somewhere, but instead you’re talking about grants and book deals!”

Charlie took a moment to breathe. Scientist looked over at Mr. Prickles, who hadn’t made a sound the entire time. Would he really have gone that far and let their cactus be sent to a lab and examined like some sort of rodent? He didn’t even let that happen to Armitage…

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, not quite meeting Charlie’s gaze. “You’re right. I was so busy trying to study Mr. Prickles that I forgot to treat him with the respect he deserves. Thank you for pointing that out to me.”

Charlie snaked an arm around Scientist’s shoulders and pulled him into a forgiving hug. “It’s okay, Doc. Mr. Prickles told me you’d come to your senses eventually.”

Scientist relaxed — for a moment. “Wait, what?”

“We were talking about it this morning while you were at work.” He squeezed Scientist comfortingly. “You should talk to him, too. He’s a great listener.”

Scientist hid his face against Charlie’s shoulder and sighed.


	21. Charlie and Scientist Go Looking For Ghouls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was written in response to a prompt asking if Charlie ever takes Scientist out looking for ghouls. Takes place after Charlie moves in with Scientist but before they become boyfriends.

“I’m sorry, you want to what?”

Charlie handed Scientist a dish to dry as they finished cleaning up after dinner. “Go looking for ghouls. I haven’t done it in a while and we both have the day off tomorrow.”

Scientist looked at him blankly. “Ghouls?”

“Yeah.” Charlie grinned and held up his thumb and forefinger about an inch apart. “You know, little green ghouls.”

Scientist was usually a really good listener, but Charlie’s explanation didn’t seem to be getting through to him. “You’ve seen… little green ghouls?”

“Not lately. That’s why I want to go looking for them again.” He shrugged and rinsed off another plate. “It’s fine if you can’t do it. I’ll just ask Mac instead.”

Scientist hurriedly dried the dish in his hands. “No, no, I can accompany you. No need to ask Mac. Let’s get the dishes done and then plan the specifics.”

Charlie smiled excitedly and passed over the cleaned plate.

~*~

The last time Charlie went ghoul-hunting, it was in the alley behind Paddy’s. But Scientist suggested that they’d have better luck at a cemetery. He drove them to Laurel Hill Cemetery, which was a national landmark. Charlie was worried that Scientist would be more interested in reading all the boring historical placards than actually looking for ghouls, but it turned out that the cemetery was really nice. It was the first warm day of Spring — everything was green and sunshine-y and Scientist had even packed a picnic lunch.

Charlie savored his turkey-and-brie sandwich and smiled at the other man who was digging around in the basket for a napkin. “This is really awesome, Doc.”

“You’re welcome,” Scientist said, looking up from his napkin-searching quest and blushing faintly from the praise. “I’m sorry we haven’t found any of your ghouls.”

Charlie shook his head. “It’s cool, I still had lots of fun. Making the Gang look for ghouls with me was always like pulling teeth — well, not my teeth, but the average person’s teeth, I guess. They’d complain the whole time.” Impulsively, he wrapped an arm around Scientist’s shoulders and gave him a side-hug. “You’re the best, man. You’re a really great friend.”

Scientist leaned into the hug a bit before successfully retrieving his napkin. “Yes,” he said, looking quite pleased with himself. “Yes, I am.”


	22. Charlie celebrates Scientist's birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written in response to a prompt requesting Charlie doing something nice (and Charlie-esque) for Scientist's birthday.

As far as birthdays went for Scientist, this one had started out quite promising. Charlie woke him up with face cuddles, followed by breakfast in bed. How fortuitous that his birthday fell on a Sunday so that they could spend a lazy morning feeding each other bits of bacon and waffles, Charlie snuggled up in his lap.

When Charlie suggested getting a little frisky, Scientist was more than agreeable. But he really should have asked what his boyfriend specifically had in mind, which is how they ended up behind the bar at Paddy’s, Charlie rummaging through a toolbox with one hand, his other handcuffed to Scientist’s.

“We should really get a set of tools for the apartment, Doc. Haven’t you ever needed to fix anything?”

“The building has hired maintenance,” Scientist muttered, red-faced. And like hell he would have rang them up for assistance. It was embarrassing enough having to leave the apartment dressed in his sleepwear — sweats, thankfully, but rumpled nonetheless. Thank God neither one of them had gotten undressed before the handcuffs came out. “I can’t believe you lost the bloody key.”

“I know, I’m really sorry, dude. I forgot they were real and not pretend.” Charlie looked up at him guiltily and Scientist felt his heart melt at the sight. How was he supposed to stay mad at a face like that?

“Next time we’ll make sure we have all the components of a… ah, scene, before we do anything. All right?” His tone was forgiving, which seemed to put Charlie back at ease. The smaller man returned to looking through the toolbox. “Any luck finding the bolt-cutters?”

“Nah.” Charlie pulled out a handful of screwdrivers to ease the search. “I could have sworn we had a pair… there’s also the blow-torch in the back office, we could —“

“Absolutely not,” Scientist said sternly. Charlie making puppy eyes or not, that was never happening under any circumstances.

Charlie sighed. “Okay, okay… well, we could try a pair of pliers, or maybe—“

The sound of the door opening made Charlie fall silent. Frank Reynolds walked in with a woman that Scientist remembered meeting once or twice. She was a friend of Dee’s, perhaps? He scooted closer to Charlie, hiding their handcuffed wrists from view.

Frank seemed less than thrilled to see the two of them. “What are you two kids doing here? It’s your day off, Charlie.”

“We, uh…” Charlie looked about as uncomfortable as Scientist felt. “We’re just here, you know. No reason.”

Frank frowned at Charlie’s evasive answer and sidled up to the bar. “You’re hiding something.”

“No!” Charlie squeaked, before clearing his throat. “I mean, no, of course not, way to be paranoid, Frank. And on a completely unrelated note, have you seen the bolt-cutters?”

“Why would you need those?” Frank asked, his surprisingly keen gaze sliding up to Scientist, who felt himself buckling under the pressure. It was like his thesis defense all over again.

Charlie nudged Scientist with his hip. The two men looked at each another, and coming to a silent agreement, placed their cuffed wrists onto the bar top.

Frank blinked at the sight before bursting into laughter. “Jesus Christ, you two are morons.”

“Wh— it was his idea!” Scientist blurted, mortified. He hadn’t planned on getting defensive, but he wasn’t going to let Frank of all people call him a moron!

“Yeah, I’m sure it was,” Frank said between guffaws. “But you’re the idiot that went along with him!”

To Scientist’s horror, Charlie started giggling. “He’s got a point, dude.”

Scientist shut his eyes and prayed for a miracle. Or for the world to end.

The woman Frank had brought in, who until now had been watching silently with an amused look, frowned and swatted Frank on the arm. “That’s enough, Frank. You too, Charlie. You’re terrorizing the poor man.”

Frank mercifully stopped laughing. Charlie did, too, looking down and murmuring, “Sorry, Artemis.”

Artemis plucked a bobby pin out of her curly brown hair. “Do you want some help out of that, hon?” She asked Scientist, tapping his cuff with one brightly manicured nail.

“Please,” Scientist said quietly, desperation winning out over pride.

The full-bodied woman bent the bobby pin into an L-shape and then slipped an end into the cuff’s keyhole. “This used to happen to me all the time,” she said consolingly. “And I just hate to safeword if I can help it. Really kills the mood.”

With a simple twist of the pin, Scientist’s cuff popped open. “Thank you,” he said gratefully. He rubbed his wrist and watched as Artemis freed Charlie just as easily.

“No problem.” She picked up the handcuffs and jingled them hopefully. “Mind if I borrow these?”

“Keep them,” Charlie said immediately.

Artemis grinned and tucked the cuffs into her belt before turning towards Frank. “You still wanna fool around in your office?”

“Hell yeah,” said Frank, admiring the cuffs. He wrapped an arm around her waist and headed towards the back. “Later, nerds.”

“Have fun,” Artemis called out over her shoulder, before whispering to Frank, “Baby gays are so cute.”

Charlie waited for the office door to slam shut before looking up at Scientist miserably. “Sorry I ruined your birthday.”

“Shhh.” Scientist kissed Charlie’s forehead and ran both his hands through the shorter man’s hair, just because he could. “This is still better than last year’s. And it’s not even noon, there’s time yet to salvage things.”

“Good, ‘cause I still wanna take you out,” Charlie sighed happily, melting under Scientist’s touch. “We can go to the art museum, or.. oh … wherever, dude. It’s your day.”

“Sounds lovely,” Scientist murmured, leaning in for a face cuddle.

The sound of flesh smacking flesh and a high-pitched moan drifting from the back office stopped their make-out session cold.

“But first,” Scientist said quickly, taking Charlie’s hand. “Let’s go back home. I need a shower.”

Charlie, who still occasionally whined about having to take a shower on a regular basis, practically pulled Scientist out of the bar. “A shower sounds great. Let’s go.”


	23. Old Habits Die Hard, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was written in response to a meme requesting fics with dialogue re-written from another character's point of view. I chose Mr. Prickles.

Mr. Prickles loved to talk.

He didn’t know what caused him to start talking — his memories from Before simply didn’t exist — but now he talked all the time. He talked about how good the sun felt on his prickles, how much he loved the purple flower blooming from the top of his body. He talked about being thirsty (which wasn’t often), being sleepy (at night), and being happy (almost all the time).

He loved the one called Charlie. Partly because Charlie had hair on his face that reminded Mr. Prickles of his prickles, but mostly because Charlie listened to him and talked back. Mr. Prickles wasn’t always sure what Charlie was saying, but he said it so nicely that it didn’t matter.

He also loved the one called Doc, although Doc never talked to him. Doc took good care of him, and good care of Charlie and that weird white not-plant-thing that lived in the glass tank next to him. But whenever Mr. Prickles talked, Doc would sit down with a notebook and write things into it, and never, ever talked back.

One afternoon, Doc was writing down notes, but he was also staring off into space every so often with a funny smile. Then Charlie came in and sat down next to Doc. “Blah blah blah, Doc,” he said.

Doc did not bother looking up as he continued writing. “ Blah blah blah—“ he said, but Charlie interrupted him.

“Blah blah Mr. Prickles.”

Mr. Prickles squeaked and wriggled his spines at the sound of his name. He loved his name!

Doc sighed and waved a hand dismissively. “Blah blah blah, Charlie. Blah blah.”

Charlie ripped the notebook out of Doc’s hands. Doc looked surprised, and Charlie looked hurt. Mr. Prickles stopped talking. This wasn’t good!

“Blah blah,” Charlie said lowly. “Blah blah blah.” Mr. Prickles could tell that Charlie was disappointed in something Doc did.

“Charlie,” Doc said, but Charlie didn’t let him finish. He talked for a long time, and although Mr. Prickles wasn’t sure what he was saying, he got the general gist: he wanted Doc to start talking to Mr. Prickles the same way he talked to Charlie, or to the weird white not-plant-thing. Mr. Prickles held his carbon dioxide in anticipation, not making a sound. Would Doc finally start talking to him?

Doc looked over at him before bowing his head. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, not quite meeting Charlie’s gaze. “Blah blah blah, Mr. Prickles. Blah blah treat blah blah blah.”

Charlie snaked an arm around Scientist’s shoulders and pulled him into a forgiving hug. “It’s okay, Doc. Mr. Prickles blah blah blah.”

Doc relaxed — for a moment. “Blah?”

“Blah blah blah.” Charlie squeezed Doc comfortingly. “Blah blah blah.”

Doc hid his face against Charlie’s shoulder and sighed. Mr. Prickles, meanwhile, was overjoyed. He loved hearing his name so many times! And something about a treat? And best of all, Doc was going to talk to him, too. What a great day!


	24. Pet Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the prompt "Pet Names."

Scientist grabbed a freshly popped bowl of popcorn and joined Charlie on the couch for their weekly movie night. “Pass me the remote, darling?” he asked as he made himself comfortable under the blankets with the other man.

Charlie handed it over with a smile. “Here you go, crumpet.”

Scientist looked at Charlie, remote still pointed at the television. “Beg pardon?”

“Um, nothing.” Charlie snuggled under the blankets. “Go ahead and start the movie… scone-y.”

Scientist set aside the remote and turned towards Charlie with an amused expression on his face. “Is there a reason you’re calling me different baked goods?” he asked good-naturedly, but Charlie just burrowed further into the blankets. “Darling, it’s all right. You can call me those things if you like.”

Charlie shook his head. “You think it’s weird. I’ll stop.”

“What brought this on?” Scientist asked, gently stroking Charlie’s hair.

“Dennis brought his girlfriend to the bar and was calling her pet names like cupcake and stuff.”

“And Dennis is a shining example of appropriate relationship behavior,” Scientist remarked dryly.

Charlie nudged him in the ribs. “Dude, you do it, too. You call me darling and sweetheart all the time. I was thinking maybe I should call you special names, too.”

Scientist furrowed his brows. “But you already do, Charlie. You call me ‘Doc’ all the time.” Charlie shrugged, unconvinced, so Scientist leaned in and added, “And it’s not really what you say, but how you say it. I love the way you say my name. No one says it like you do.”

Charlie looked up hopefully. “Yeah?”

Scientist nodded and kissed his cheek. “If you think of something you’d like to call me, feel free, but trust me, it isn’t necessary.”

“Okay.” Charlie cuddled close. “What are we watching tonight? Is it another movie for nerds?”

Scientist scoffed. “No.” He picked up the remote and started the film — a documentary about space. “Okay, maybe.”

Charlie laughed. “Nerd,” he teased, but Scientist just smiled sappily. That was much better than “crumpet”.


	25. Scientist Gets a Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the prompt "Take care of the other while sick."

Charlie burst into Paddy’s, panting as if he had run all the way from his apartment. “Guys!” he yelled, interrupting the Gang’s conversation. “You gotta help me. I think Doc has bird flu!”

Mac rolled his eyes. “Gimme a break, Charlie. Science Bitch isn’t a bird.”

“I’m serious!” Charlie nearly wailed. “He’s sneezing and coughing and all snotty and didn’t even put on a tie this morning when he left for work. He’s dying!”

“Hey, buddy. Come over here and calm down.” Dennis beckoned Charlie to the barstool next to him, then handed him a beer. “There you go. Just relax and pull yourself together. I’m sure he’s fine. It’s probably just a bad cold.”

“What if it’s not?” Charlie whined. “What if they don’t give British kids enough shots when they’re little and he’s coming down with some super virus that turns him into a zombie?” He looked up at Dee who was standing behind the bar, tears in his eyes. “I don’t want to have to kill my zombie boyfriend, Dee!”

“All right, first of all, no more zombie films for you. Ever.” Dee glared at Charlie. “Does he have a fever? A rash? Is he puking blood?”

Charlie wrung his hands together and shook his head.

“Then it’s probably just a cold. And if it gets worse, he can take his insured ass to the doctor’s. You’re over-reacting, Charlie.”

“Yeah… yeah, probably just a cold,” Charlie muttered, half to himself. He took a fortifying sip of beer. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

~*~

Scientist got home much earlier than usual, still looking sick as a dog. “Going to my office was a waste,” he said after Charlie greeted him worriedly. “I couldn’t get anything done and the student I had an appointment with canceled at the last minute. Bugger.”

Charlie pet Scientist’s arms soothingly. “Shh, there, there. You’re safe now, it’s okay. Let’s get you in bed.”

“Eh?” Scientist blinked blearily, but didn’t have time to question Charlie’s behavior before he was herded into the bedroom and handed his pajamas.

“You get comfortable and I’ll go make dinner.” Charlie fretted at the buttons of Scientist’s shirt. “Unless you need my help getting changed?”

“Charlie,” Scientist said with a half-laugh of disbelief, but the smaller man was looking so anxious that he just shook his head. “I’ll manage.”

~*~

“It’s not too hot?” Charlie asked, hovering over Scientist’s bed.

“It’s perfect,” Scientist smiled. Not that he could taste the chicken soup with his nose completely blocked up, but it was the thought that counted.

“And you have enough pillows? Blankets? Should I make it warmer in —“

“Don’t touch the thermostat.” Scientist coughed into a tissue. “I’ll be fine, honestly. Aren’t you supposed to work at Paddy’s this evening? You don’t need to watch me while I eat.”

“I don’t think I should leave you in your condition.” Charlie scratched at his beard. “Although, I could go out and grab my quarantine suit for you. I think it’s still in the back office.”

“On second thought,” Scientist said hurriedly, “maybe you should stay here and keep an eye on me.”

~*~

It was not the bird flu; Scientist recovered quickly over the weekend and by Monday morning, he was ready to return to work, clear-headed and impeccably dressed. “Charlie? I’m done in the bathroom if you —“

Charlie rolled over in bed and groaned, his eyes puffy and his nose red.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Scientist hurried to Charlie’s side and placed a hand on his clammy forehead. “I think you’ve caught my cold. I’m so sorry — would you like me to make you some tea?”

Charlie sniffled. “Don’t you have to go to work?” he asked before sneezing into his pillow.

Scientist plucked a tissue from the box on the nightstand and wiped Charlie’s nose. “It can wait,” he said, feeling oddly relieved. Somehow the natural order of the universe had been restored.


	26. Charlie Helps Scientist in the Kitchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the prompt "Cooking together." Takes place before Charlie moves in with Scientist.

Charlie was surprised when he knocked on Scientist’s door for their weekly science meeting and didn’t get an answer. Granted, he was a little early, but Scientist kept a very orderly schedule. It wasn’t like him to not be home Saturday evenings.

He was about to knock again when he heard Scientist’s voice — but from the hallway rather than inside his apartment. Charlie turned and saw Scientist come up the stairwell with a basket of laundry in his arms. “Oh, Charlie! I’m sorry, I was finishing my laundry and one of the dryers was broken, and then I had to get more quarters —“

Charlie shook his head. “Doc, it’s okay.” He reached out for the laundry basket. “Do you want some help? I already washed my hands.”

The tension in Scientist’s frame eased and he smiled a little. “Yes, thank you.” He passed over the basket and unlocked the door. “I’m afraid I haven’t started dinner yet, I was delayed by the whole dryer fiasco.”

“No problem. Um… I could help you with that, too?”

He was expecting Scientist to say no — the man was particular about what went on in his kitchen and had always politely declined Charlie’s help in the past. But this time, the man smiled, pleased. “All right. It’s nothing fancy, of course, but I could use the help.”

~*~

There were a lot of vegetables for dinner that night. Charlie tried not to make a face; he did offer to help, after all, it wouldn’t do to disappoint Scientist. “What do you need me to do?”

Scientist was busy heating oil in a pan. “If you could chop up the peppers, please. And then the mushrooms, if I haven’t gotten to them yet.”

The peppers were already on a chopping board. Charlie looked around for a knife and found some colorful handles sticking out of a wooden block. He pulled each one experimentally, and every blade was different. Which one was he supposed to use?

Scientist turned from the stove and reached for the mushrooms. He reached out and lightly tapped one of the handles. “That one.”

The knife was bigger than Charlie expected. He slowly sliced at one of the peppers, worried he’d slip and accidentally cut himself. It was one thing to be cavalier at the pub, but if screwed up here, Scientist wouldn’t let him back in the kitchen.

Scientist looked over at his handiwork and Charlie inwardly winced. “Sorry I’m taking so long.”

“Nonsense.” Scientist swapped the peppers for mushrooms. “You’re being a tremendous help.”

Charlie’s chest warmed from the praise. He sliced the mushrooms with a much surer hand. “What else can I do?” he asked when he was done.

Scientist offered him a block of cheese and a grater. “Can you shred this for me?”

Charlie rubbed his hands together gleefully. “Now you’re talking.”


	27. Scientist Gives Charlie a Massage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for a prompt about giving a massage, perhaps specifically a shoulder massage. Takes place after Charlie moves in with Scientist but before they are boyfriends.

Charlie came home for dinner looking unhappy. No doubt it was the result of whatever funny business his friends had been up to, but when Scientist asked him about it, he simply said that he was “stressed out” and wouldn’t elaborate.

Scientist served up some cheesy casserole and Charlie’s mood immediately improved. But every so often, he would rub ineffectually at his shoulder and grimace. “Are you all right?” Scientist asked, concerned.

Charlie shrugged, which earned him another wince. “It just feels really tight back here,” he complained.

“May I?” Scientist asked, rising from his seat and gesturing to Charlie’s shoulders before putting his hands on them. “Your muscles are very tense, Charlie. What were you doing today?”

“Nothing,” Charlie said quickly, before sighing and adding, “I was helping Mac with one of his Project Badass videos, but he wanted me to be in the stunt, and I knew you wouldn’t like that so I said ‘no’, and then Mac called me a pussy and we got into a fight.”

“I’m sorry you fought with Mac,” Scientist said, trying very hard to actually sound sorry, “But I’m glad you thought of me before you did something dangerous.”

“No problem.” Charlie smiled.

“Perhaps I can help?” Scientist offered. “A shoulder massage would get out all the knots.”

Charlie considered the offer. “Okay. After dinner?”

“After dinner,” Scientist agreed.

~*~

Charlie got comfortable on one of the living room chairs. Scientist stood behind him. “Relax your posture,” he instructed. “And let me know if anything hurts.” He felt around Charlie’s neck and shoulders, trying to determine where the knots were tightest, before rubbing the muscles with more pressure. He worked each knot with the heel of his hand, massaging each spot thoroughly until the muscle began to loosen and finally relax.

He knew what he was doing, more or less. He occasionally gave shoulder massages to friends or loved ones. It was a real treat to give one to Charlie — it felt so satisfying, his flesh warm underneath his hands. Charlie made the most lovely sounds as well, pleasant sighs and occasional groans of pleasure that were music to Scientist’s ears.

Scientist switched from working each muscle to a more general roll of his hands, and Charlie sighed happily. “You’re really good at this, Doc.”

“I’m sure I’m about average,” Scientist said modestly, smiling from the praise.

“Nah, you’re way better than average.”

“Have much to compare me to?” Scientist teased.

“Yeah, actually… oh, right there, Doc, that’s good… Dennis and Mac once gave me a massage, when I was training for a boxing match.”

“Oh.” There was a lot to parse in that sentence, not the least of which was the whole boxing thing, but Scientist found himself hung up on the tidbit of Dennis and Mac instead. “And how was that?”

Charlie made a face. “It was okay, but they made it weird. Dennis especially, he makes everything like that weird.”

Scientist let his hands fall still. “Is this weird?” he asked hesitantly.

Charlie turned and looked up at him, his smile bright and easy. “Nah, man. You’re my mentor, this is the sort of thing you’re supposed to do. I mean, a boxing manager is supposed to give massages, too, but I’ve told you how Dennis and Mac can be dicks about things. Not like you, you’re always really nice to me.”

Scientist didn’t know what to say. He smiled a little and prayed to God he wasn’t blushing.

“Are you done?” Charlie asked. He shrugged his shoulders experimentally. “Everything feels great now.”

“I suppose so, if you feel better.”

Charlie looked briefly disappointed, although Scientist wasn’t sure if that was just wishful thinking on his part. “Awesome. I’m gonna go do the dishes, now that I can move my arms around.” He stood up and headed towards the kitchen. “You’re the best, Doc.”

Scientist watched him go, hands held to his chest as if that would somehow preserve the memory of the massage. “It was no trouble,” he said softly, mostly to himself.


	28. Don't Leave.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the prompt "Don't Leave."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This drabble makes an allusion to abuse that Charlie has likely suffered in the past. A very oblique reference, but please be advised when reading.

Sometimes Charlie wakes up in the middle of the night and forgets where he is.

When this happens, he thinks he is in his old apartment. He wonders why the bed feels so comfortable, why it doesn’t reek of cat food (or worse), why the man who isn’t Frank is cuddled up against him. Then he remembers that he lives with Scientist now, and he falls back asleep with a smile on his face.

But once in a while, he thinks he is somewhere else. He thinks he is back in his childhood home, and the man in bed with him should not be there, but if he makes a sound, something Very Bad will happen, so he lies very still and pretends to be asleep.

When he realizes – usually just a moment or two later – where he really is, he wonders what he did to deserve this warm, comfortable bed, and this warm, caring man. Sometimes he wonders if this is the dream, and in the morning, he’ll be back in his old apartment, or worse.

Then he shuts his eyes, whispers _Don’t leave_ , and tries his hardest to fall back asleep.


	29. Charlie Gets a New Swimsuit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie goes swimsuit shopping with Scientist. Takes place after Charlie moves in with Scientist, but before they become boyfriends.

“I don’t understand why I can’t wear my jean shorts,” Charlie complained as he and Scientist walked into the men’s clothing store. “I don’t care what Mac says, they aren’t trashy.”

“Of course not,” Scientist said reassuringly. “On the contrary, I find them quite flattering. But the pool does not allow street clothes. We need to get you a proper swimsuit if you want to come swimming with me.”

Charlie very much wanted to go swimming with Scientist, so he stayed quiet and obligingly rifled through the store’s selection. Most of the suits were boring, but one style in particular caught his eye. “How about these?” Charlie asked, holding up a pair of swim shorts. They were a nice shade of green and reminded him of his cutoffs.

Scientist looked at the shorts skeptically, like he didn’t think they were classy enough for Charlie. “Why don’t we pick a few other styles, in case those don’t fit?”

~*~

The problem wasn’t that the little green shorts didn’t fit.

They just fit _too well_.

“They’re awesome, Doc. I bet I could do the splits in these.” Charlie wiggled his hips for emphasis as he modeled them for Scientist. “Can I get them?”

Scientist swallowed, his throat unreasonably dry. “I… I’m not sure… They’re… they’re not…”

“What? Do they look bad in the back?” Charlie turned around and stuck out his rear. The spandex stretched forgivingly.

“No!” Scientist answered, louder than he intended. He cleared his throat. “They’re just… they’re very short, Charlie, and I want your skin to be protected while we’re swimming. You’re quite fair and f-freckled.”

“You’re paler than I am, dude.”

“Yes, and I wear a rash guard,” Scientist pointed out, brandishing said article of clothing like a piece of evidence in the courtroom. “Sunbathing can be dangerous, you know. The water doesn’t provide any protection.”

Charlie frowned dubiously, but couldn’t find an argument against Scientist’s logic. “I guess I’ll go try on a different pair,” he sighed, returning to his dressing room.

Scientist waited for the door to shut before sagging visibly and fanning himself with the rash guard.

~*~

Charlie eventually settled on a pair of board shorts. They weren’t his first choice, but they were still pretty comfortable, and had the Phillies logo on them, so that was cool.

He had such a great time swimming with Scientist that it wasn’t until they were getting ready to leave that he started to wonder why Scientist had made such a fuss about sun exposure in the first place.

It was, after all, an indoor pool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one of my personal favorites. :)


End file.
